A Big Part of me. Hidden.

It was not until today I realized that I was confused... [ahem..] about guys.

I'm being an idiot I think. I made a completely fool out of myself.. T.T

Anyway, I learnt how to live my life MY way.. X)

If u love something, u won't be able to give it away. Even if it has no benefits to u.

Even if it harms u, u still be afraid to part with it...

This is what I feel in the past few months...

A friend just told me he read all my blogs and was touched by the way I put every way I felt in my blogs. I felt an urged to review my blog and I found out that the PAST me and the PRESENT me has a big difference in posting blogs.

Lately, I'm being secretive to my faithful readers. I'm not revealing my stories in details now. I'm scared that others will see through my happy face and found that the inside was one struggling soul. To let go or not to?

Things have changed a lot.

They're not the same or another way to put it is, they're more sophisticated. I love that tim when they're simpler. I don't have much to think about, lay around and problems will be solved in a tick. The present is more like a prolonged acute inflammation that becomes chronic. [Pardon me for using so much medical terms, I'm actually memorizing in this way X) ].

Chronic in a way that even when it heals, it would leave behind a scar. A graveyard of contents.

And most importantly, it needs heaps of strong thinking for healing processes.

I have to keep my mind and body strong to deal with the circumstances.

To be frank, I'm really happy these weeks. =)

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Happiness is chosen, not given.

Think of old times.. =)

Get to chat with an old old friend in primary... I just found out that if we were just a little braver, maybe we would end up being together.. Puppy love! haha..

That time we were in standard 6.. The time where everyone is writing love letters, having secret lovers... It was nice flashing back 7 years ago, when we were still wearing that dark blue uniform, chasing each other round the canteen... I had a lot of admirers ( not to boast ), but there's one guy I really like among them... It was sweet time playing with classmates, no worries.

The guy I liked was of course admired by quite a number of girls in my class... But he made it quite obvious that he liked me, so I'm being nailed as an enemy by the others.. xP

We played chess, 3-6-9 ( a stupid game where a group sit down and count, the ones who counted 3/6/9 get a chance to hit peoples' hand.) , and we were in the same Pengakap. Things were sweet...

But that time, none of us dared to shout our feelings to each other. This feeling dragged us to Secondary school, and we had our boyfriends and girlfriends and so on...

It wasn't until today, I had a chat with him a

nd we admit all our feelings to each other. The only difference is, he has his girlfriend and I had mine...

But the things we did in primary time made me laughed my head off... XD

It was all so funny!! I did a list of foolish things and he remembered!! Oh My God. I have no more NICE ''image'' in front of him...

We found out that we still kept the gifts we gave each other during occasions and birthdays...

And we made a deal.. X)

To think of it, memories were nice... Life is bright with memories... =)

..................................................................................

Again,

It was more painful to love someone

and never find courage to tell them what you feel ♥

♥ Happy Hols!!!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!~~~

It's holidays now... Most of my friends went home...=)

I'm still in Aimst for the time being.. I don't know the reason, but since I came back for degree, I'm not that keen in going home every weekends... Not like the way I spend my weekends in Foundation - I rushed home as soon as possible... My house is just 30 minutes away.. x)

Maybe the reasons making me want to go back is not really there anymore...

That person is not so important to me now... I rather stay in a damn boring place like Aimst than going back... Hey, this is good...! =D

Okay, I'm rather lazy to update...

LAZY.

To do anything!

That's why I'm fatter already.

My daily routine : -

- Sleep

- Eat

- Class

- Facebook

- Eat

- Sleep

- Eat

- Facebook

- Sleep

repeat....

I'm serious..

Gonna fail my CA1 if this becomes a continuous reaction... T.T

By the way, I'm due to many sessions of YUM CHA!! Yay!!!

..............................................................................................

It's hard to love someone without being loved,

But it's more painful to love someone

and never find courage to tell that someone what you feel~♥♥

CA 1 coming!!!!!

After a month in medicine, there's only a month towards our 1st Continuous Assessment!!!
Time flies..
But I'm still in the LAGGING PHASE.. unable to make myself to stand up.. T.T

By the way, a lot happened.
I found myself among 200+ EXTRA HARDWORKING people suddenly...
But don't misunderstood me, I'm only AMONG them.
I'm NOT one of them.

[Help??... pleaseeee]


Next, I found a group of sot friends after Steph left..=)
We make trips to the mall and gazed over make ups + clothes + stuffs... xD hahah...
All the best ya friends!!! =D


Lately, I found myself a reason to keep holding on...
No regrets to my life... At least I held on before... =)

My dinner awaits me... Must go line up awal-awal... If not must QUEUE for half an hour before you can even touch the food..>.<

-ps : To those who've been awaiting my picts, I'm uploading them in fb instead.. =)