Family =)

I have been spending my most time with my dear family lately.
Except studying for my supplementary paper, one or two days with friends, the rest of my holidays have been sticking at home, watching tv. Haha.

There are pictures I took these days. Photos have been missing from my posts lately.
Well, here they are! =)

More on facebook!! =)

Downs.

Bad news.

I've been pretending that I'm ok. I'm not. I'm not strong enough to show my sadness and disappointments to the world but inside there's a tornado twisting roughly. I don't want people to pity me, I don't want people to look down on me. I know I can do it if I wanted to.

Those around me might have checked. Yes, I failed my MCBM 1 paper. Been called for VIVA but still couldn't get through it. I'm strong enough to put it down here, just to say I'm really sorry. I'm not useless. I'm just stupid enough to waste my time and run away from studies. Should've studied while I have the time.

Batchmates have been posting their happiness on Facebook. I read all of them, sharing their joy of completing first year, while feeling sad for myself. With nobody in my shoes to talk to. How could I ruin their happiness with my sorrow? How could I possible want them to share my bad news while they are celebrating their good ones?

It's all my own stupid fault. I admit my weakness and foolishness. The blame is all on me. But there's no turning back. I don't own a time machine that can bring me back in time. The only possible, sensible thing for me to do right now is to look forward. Prepare for the better and the worse, and grow up.

Friends, please support me. I've learnt my lesson well and properly.

Papa, Mummy, please don't be too angry. I promise I shall prepare everything on time.

Ningxi, please stand up and smile. God has everything in His hands.

Father, please help me. Let your great wisdom and strength come upon me and help me up again. with the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

After such a long time.♥

Finally, I've completed first year medicine.

One year wasn't very long, but it wasn't very short too. One minute you're struggling with lectures and the other you're waiting for results. The last few weeks were really difficult. I nearly went mad with the exams and couldn't concentrate. I couldn't study, couldn't focus and just felt like throwing everything away. I felt like quitting.

My family supported me, through all those troubling trips to bring me food, I know that they were sad too, to see me like that. My baby, who made all those efforts talking me through things. I'm glad have these people with me. Now that everything's over, I learnt my lesson from my mistakes. I've been lazy. I didn't use my time wisely to study. If I have another chance, I won't make this happen again.

Things have been very very hectic and too happening. I wish I have the time to myself. I want to ponder over my decisions, if possible, I would do nothing, rest my mind and emptying them to make space for more new meaningful things. I want a vacation to myself, somewhere quiet and beautiful.