Growing up

Just locked my old blog @ xanga.com. I had a good laugh by viewing all my posts there. I was so childish! lol. Felt stupid and foolish. WHY ON EARTH I WOULD WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT? OMFG. Believe me you would laugh at yourself if you read your old posts written when you were younger.

I guess that's the process of growing up. I felt my maturation in mind and viewpoints in life. Things that used to disturb me doesn't really matter now. You even forgot those stuff happened until you came across something that reminded you about it.
Life taught me everything I need to know at my level or age. I may have seen and experienced more than others about HUMANS, cuz I'm exposed to different kinds of environment, and I'm not afraid to know more. Some people grow up sooner than the others, and when I mention 'growing up', I'm not referring to physical maturation, its the mental maturation we should aim for. The more you see and experience, the more you learn to be less self-centered and will try to fit yourself in other's position, you might actually understand their situation rather than blaming or scolding or even cursing the one you hate, just because they've done something you don't like. You will tend to think that everything they do is bad, cuz you hate them.

There's no such thing as PURE GOOD or PURE BAD. A good person will sin; a criminal will sacrifice for love too. Then, can you label them as 'good' or 'bad'?

Short post today. Peace.

Beliefs.

I've always been hoping for the best for myself. In studies, family, relationships and everything I do, I know what I want and I know what are my capabilities to achieve what I want. Am I a positive thinker? Maybe.
What you give is what you take, of course. You don't expect to get everything when you didn't work for it don't you? But sometimes, shit happens. You did so much, just hoping for the best ending, but it didn't turn out that way.

My boy is having a really bad time recently, family matters, money matters, and even friends gave him problems. He has to carry the burden of taking care of his family since he was 18. There are five children and he is the only son. He never mention a thing to his friends or others about his family and stored every sadness and sufferings inside him. Sometimes I see him surrounded by such stress I'm heartbroken. I don't understand why some people are born rich but being unappreciative, while some even have to kill for a meal. And nobody ever handed a hand, includes those who are the closest.

I've always been telling him, our future is in our own hands, if we work hard, we can even take the world. I let him choose his own path, I'm not God, or his creator, I don't ask him to go the way I wanted, all I should do is just to support him when he needed me. I want the one I love to be happy.

People have been giving him problems, inside and outside his family, and he is not an emotionally strong person ever since I know him. He is too soft and trusting towards others. He fell, again and again, because of his trust in the wrong people, which they take as an advantage to step on him. I realized that he has been avoiding his troubles by drinking and lazing around.

He is seriously hurt, I know.
I just don't know how to help him. Tried everything I could. I even thought of leaving, because I couldn't see my future in that situation, but I couldn't stand the pain. Now all I wanted is to make him happy. I stop taking things into my hands, and let him settle his own stuff. I believe things will be better one day. I'll just hope. We have been through so much, and I believe we can go through this war once more. You can do it! Stay strong.

Love you <3